It seemed like he would never come. Seriously. I tried so hard to have him early since we are moving in a week from tomorrow. I just couldn't handle the thought of him coming late. So at the beginning of November I started doing everything in the book to help him come early! I ate tons of dates, took evening primrose oil every night, did my squats and had accupuncture done on me three times a week.
At my 38 week check up she told me that I was dilated to a 2 and 1/2 and that gave me a lot of false hope. Maybe he really would come early?!? But no. At my 39 week check up I was dilated to a 3 and 1/2 and she also stripped my membranes for the second time. And for that next week I tried so hard to have my baby! I did jumping jacks, danced in the living room with Cole, chased him around.....yep.
On Wednesday 11/27 I called up my midwife and told her that I didn't think this baby was coming on his own. Not for another two weeks at least. And we couldn't afford to wait that long since we were moving. So I asked her if she would break my water for me which really is just another way of saying I was getting induced which I initially didn't want but I was getting really desperate, obviously. She even offered to have me come in right then at 4 pm when I called her but I was like "noooo, it's ok." The next day was Thanksgiving anyway so we set the date for Saturday 11/30. When we set the date and time I was so happy! There was an end to this pregnancy in sight!!
The night before he came I wasn't nearly as nervous as I had been with Cole. I was still nervous but mainly just excited to have him finally come and to meet him. I got up early Saturday morning and made sure to actually do my hair and makeup this time ;) I also made sure to eat a nice breakfast because when I was induced with Cole I was starving the whole time!
We got to the hospital at 7 am and checked in. Baylor Irving Medical Center is much smaller than Plano Presbyterian and we really liked it that way. The nurses were so nice! Maybe the fact that I brought them a plate of brownies helped ;) Their names were Heather and Christine. I got changed, got my IV which hardly hurt this time. I had been dreading that but my nurse was awesome! Rachel my midwife got there at 8:30. She checked me; I was dilated to 4 and 1/2, almost a 5, she said. Seriously?! How did that baby not fall out of me?! Then she broke my water which didn't hurt at all; it just felt weird. Then they let us walk around to get the contractions going. They said I was already having contractions when I got there but I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks so that didn't mean much to me. We walked around the hospital floor. It was really quiet and empty probably since it was a Saturday morning. I was definitely having contractions but they weren't really hurting. I'd had Braxton Hicks contractions during the past weeks which had hurt much more so I didn't think much of them. We were allowed to walk around for 40 minutes but we spent most of the time in our labor and delivery room. Steve tried to get me to do squats when I would have a contraction but I refused haha. Squats are the worst when you're huge and pregnant.
^^After getting my IV, before Rachel broke my water^^
While we were in our room we realized that the contractions were actually getting kind of close together. They still didn't really hurt though. They were kind of uncomfortable but I was still up pacing the room and talking/laughing with Steve. When the 40 minutes were up, Heather my nurse came back in to put me back on the monitor for 20 minutes. She asked me what my pain level was. It's always so hard for me to gauge so I said a 2. ??? I didn't know where I was on a scale of 1 to 10. How does anyone ever know!?
After being monitored for those 20 minutes, Heather came back in to see if I wanted to get up again and I definitely did. It was about 10:15 am at this point and Heather said she would be back in at 10:30 with Rachel to check me again and see if I'd made any progress.
Within those 15 minutes a LOT changed. I remember being up pacing the room and saying to Steve "Hey, that one actually hurt!" and then I would just laugh about it because it didn't hurt for very long and then I was fine. And then I got another one and it REALLY hurt and I told Steve "I have to lay down now." And so I kind of just curled up on the foot of the bed because I didn't have the energy to scoot all the way up into the bed. My contractions really started hurting and I remember thinking "ow ow ow ow ow." Then Heather and Rachel came back in the room. Heather said "Well things have really changed since I was in here 15 minutes ago!" Rachel told me to tell her when the contraction was over so she could check me. They helped me up into the bed better and when my contraction was over Rachel checked me. I was dilated to an 8! She told me that if I wanted an epidural I needed to get it right then.
I was happy that I was already dilated to an 8 and I couldn't decide if I wanted an epidural or not! I seemed so close but at the same time it hurt SO bad. But not having to deal with getting a huge needle put in my back? That sounded nice. I've never been against getting an epidural but they still make me so nervous. I mean, getting paralyzed is one of the risks even if it is super rare. I asked Rachel what she thought I should do. Did she think I could do it without? She just wanted me to do whatever I was most comfortable with. She could see that I was having a hard time deciding so she said they would give me and Steve 5 minutes to decide.
They left the room and we talked about it for a minute and then I got a contraction and I thought I was going to DIE!!!! And that helped me make my decision! I want the epidural, I told Steve. I want it, I want it, I want it! I told him to go tell them. It'd been like 1 minute since they left ;) And that's when it got really bad. I'm pretty sure I was screaming and stuff even though I can't even picture myself doing that now haha. I think his head was starting to come down the birth canal because I started to feel this weird, painful pressure down there and I started freaking out. I was acting in so much more pain than when they had checked me 5 minutes prior so they checked me again. They didn't tell me how dilated I was, or maybe they did and I just don't remember but suddenly Heather was telling me "Lauren, you're not going to be able to get the epidural, this baby is coming now!" And I was like NOOOOOOOOO! The thought of pushing him out and actually feeling all of it really scared me. I totally started to panic. I remember briefly seeing the anethesiologist in the doorway but then he left.
Pushing him out is all kind of a blur now. All I really remember is that it really hurt, like really bad. I think I only pushed like 5 times but it felt like an eternity. Every time I pushed and he wasn't out, all I could think about was how I would have to push again! And I didn't want to push again! The pressure was so intense that it was really a mental block for me to get myself to actually push into that pressure. I didn't want to! I could feel it pushing my bones apart and I thought they would break!
At the end I know I was screaming with every push and Steve said that he screamed with me as moral support but I don't remember him doing that! He said that the nurses laughed at him for it, but they also said that he was a good coach :) During the last couple pushes I remember telling them "Get him out of me!!!!!" How was I still pushing? How was he not out yet?! I was pushing so hard that every muscle in my body was sore a few days later. Even my teeth started hurting a few days later! I must've been biting down but I really just don't remember.
Finally I pushed one last time and he was out!!! They immediately put him on me and I remember the nurses saying "Wow! Look how long his arms and legs are!" They also commented on how perfectly round his head was! Since it all went so fast, he wasn't in the birth canal long enough for it to get molded into a cone head. Ha!
I held my sweet baby for the first time and I don't remember him crying. He was SO cute. I noticed his blonde hair first. I just thought it was perfect. He was so sweet. I remember I couldn't hold him very well because I was still in a lot of pain. I thought I would feel immediately better once he came out but it still hurt/ached quite a bit. I didn't want to shift in bed because it still hurt so bad. Rachel stitched me up; luckily I only got a little 1 degree tear.
I was so happy that he was finally here and that he was finally out of me! We tried nursing a little bit but I didn't have the strength to hold him up the right way to latch on. I initially asked for some Tylenol for pain relief but then realized that was going to do nothing for me and finally gave into the hydrocodone. Those strong drugs always make me nervous but I only took one so that's good. And it definitely worked for about 4 hours so I can't complain!
I thought that having him would be more of a magical experience, especially since I didn't get an epidural but I think I was in a little bit of shock afterwards. I mean, I've never been in that much pain before and it all happened so fast! During the next few hours after he was born all I could think about was "WOW. That really hurt." I was also kind of in awe of myself for actually being able to do it and that I survived! Both the baby and I were fine! I'd been dying for him to come for so long and here he was!
I spent those first few hours of his life just looking at him and stroking his perfectly cute face. We call him our little cuddle bug because he loves to be held and snuggled and I just love it so much. He really is such a blessing in our lives and I'm so happy he's mine :) I'm a lucky lucky mama.
I love you, little Logan and I'm so happy you're finally here :)
^^After getting my IV, before Rachel broke my water^^
While we were in our room we realized that the contractions were actually getting kind of close together. They still didn't really hurt though. They were kind of uncomfortable but I was still up pacing the room and talking/laughing with Steve. When the 40 minutes were up, Heather my nurse came back in to put me back on the monitor for 20 minutes. She asked me what my pain level was. It's always so hard for me to gauge so I said a 2. ??? I didn't know where I was on a scale of 1 to 10. How does anyone ever know!?
After being monitored for those 20 minutes, Heather came back in to see if I wanted to get up again and I definitely did. It was about 10:15 am at this point and Heather said she would be back in at 10:30 with Rachel to check me again and see if I'd made any progress.
Within those 15 minutes a LOT changed. I remember being up pacing the room and saying to Steve "Hey, that one actually hurt!" and then I would just laugh about it because it didn't hurt for very long and then I was fine. And then I got another one and it REALLY hurt and I told Steve "I have to lay down now." And so I kind of just curled up on the foot of the bed because I didn't have the energy to scoot all the way up into the bed. My contractions really started hurting and I remember thinking "ow ow ow ow ow." Then Heather and Rachel came back in the room. Heather said "Well things have really changed since I was in here 15 minutes ago!" Rachel told me to tell her when the contraction was over so she could check me. They helped me up into the bed better and when my contraction was over Rachel checked me. I was dilated to an 8! She told me that if I wanted an epidural I needed to get it right then.
I was happy that I was already dilated to an 8 and I couldn't decide if I wanted an epidural or not! I seemed so close but at the same time it hurt SO bad. But not having to deal with getting a huge needle put in my back? That sounded nice. I've never been against getting an epidural but they still make me so nervous. I mean, getting paralyzed is one of the risks even if it is super rare. I asked Rachel what she thought I should do. Did she think I could do it without? She just wanted me to do whatever I was most comfortable with. She could see that I was having a hard time deciding so she said they would give me and Steve 5 minutes to decide.
They left the room and we talked about it for a minute and then I got a contraction and I thought I was going to DIE!!!! And that helped me make my decision! I want the epidural, I told Steve. I want it, I want it, I want it! I told him to go tell them. It'd been like 1 minute since they left ;) And that's when it got really bad. I'm pretty sure I was screaming and stuff even though I can't even picture myself doing that now haha. I think his head was starting to come down the birth canal because I started to feel this weird, painful pressure down there and I started freaking out. I was acting in so much more pain than when they had checked me 5 minutes prior so they checked me again. They didn't tell me how dilated I was, or maybe they did and I just don't remember but suddenly Heather was telling me "Lauren, you're not going to be able to get the epidural, this baby is coming now!" And I was like NOOOOOOOOO! The thought of pushing him out and actually feeling all of it really scared me. I totally started to panic. I remember briefly seeing the anethesiologist in the doorway but then he left.
Pushing him out is all kind of a blur now. All I really remember is that it really hurt, like really bad. I think I only pushed like 5 times but it felt like an eternity. Every time I pushed and he wasn't out, all I could think about was how I would have to push again! And I didn't want to push again! The pressure was so intense that it was really a mental block for me to get myself to actually push into that pressure. I didn't want to! I could feel it pushing my bones apart and I thought they would break!
At the end I know I was screaming with every push and Steve said that he screamed with me as moral support but I don't remember him doing that! He said that the nurses laughed at him for it, but they also said that he was a good coach :) During the last couple pushes I remember telling them "Get him out of me!!!!!" How was I still pushing? How was he not out yet?! I was pushing so hard that every muscle in my body was sore a few days later. Even my teeth started hurting a few days later! I must've been biting down but I really just don't remember.
Finally I pushed one last time and he was out!!! They immediately put him on me and I remember the nurses saying "Wow! Look how long his arms and legs are!" They also commented on how perfectly round his head was! Since it all went so fast, he wasn't in the birth canal long enough for it to get molded into a cone head. Ha!
I held my sweet baby for the first time and I don't remember him crying. He was SO cute. I noticed his blonde hair first. I just thought it was perfect. He was so sweet. I remember I couldn't hold him very well because I was still in a lot of pain. I thought I would feel immediately better once he came out but it still hurt/ached quite a bit. I didn't want to shift in bed because it still hurt so bad. Rachel stitched me up; luckily I only got a little 1 degree tear.
I was so happy that he was finally here and that he was finally out of me! We tried nursing a little bit but I didn't have the strength to hold him up the right way to latch on. I initially asked for some Tylenol for pain relief but then realized that was going to do nothing for me and finally gave into the hydrocodone. Those strong drugs always make me nervous but I only took one so that's good. And it definitely worked for about 4 hours so I can't complain!
I thought that having him would be more of a magical experience, especially since I didn't get an epidural but I think I was in a little bit of shock afterwards. I mean, I've never been in that much pain before and it all happened so fast! During the next few hours after he was born all I could think about was "WOW. That really hurt." I was also kind of in awe of myself for actually being able to do it and that I survived! Both the baby and I were fine! I'd been dying for him to come for so long and here he was!
I spent those first few hours of his life just looking at him and stroking his perfectly cute face. We call him our little cuddle bug because he loves to be held and snuggled and I just love it so much. He really is such a blessing in our lives and I'm so happy he's mine :) I'm a lucky lucky mama.
I love you, little Logan and I'm so happy you're finally here :)
^^♥ Logan and his daddy ♥^^
What a beautiful baby! And such sweet pictures. You also look fantastic! Especially for having him without drugs! Amazing. So glad everything worked out and that he's here!
ReplyDeleteI loved, loved reading this, Lu! So many great details. I love that Steve screamed with you and that you brought the nurses brownies. Most of all I love that baby Logan is here! He is such a handsome little babe.
ReplyDeleteWonderful story...and wonderful pictures! Brings back memories of when I had my daughter!!! CONGRATS!
ReplyDeletecan't wait to meet him, tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteYou are the sweetest to bring your nurses brownies!! haha I should do that next time! Beautiful story! He is the cutest little baby!! Great job Mama!!
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