dilemma

Little munchkin turned 18 months on June 20th! 

I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he is already this old! A year and a half is a long time and so much has happened but he is still my little baby. All of our friends are having babies and seeing their infants, I just can't believe that Cole was once that small. Or that he's not that small anymore. It puts into perspective how big he really is. It's all gone by so fast, it's been a blur. He's learning and growing so much, he really isn't a baby anymore. It breaks my heart a little bit that he will never be as small as he once was but at the same time I find so much happiness in watching him grow and learn new things. It's quite the dilemma being so incredibly happy and having a broken heart all at the same time. And for the very first time since having Cole, I've found myself wanting another infant to hold. It seems like the only thing that will make me less sad that Cole is growing up. Having another one!!! They are just so sweet and precious!! I don't know when we will be ready to have another baby (I'm still nursing Cole in the morning and at night) but the fact that I'm thinking about when we will be ready makes us a step closer. 

I just really don't want to be pregnant. 

Which is a dilemma in and of itself. haha

(ps, I used my manual focus to take these pictures which I wrote a little bit about here. Manual focus is fun!!)