When I was a teenager, I was downtown Heidelberg once at a Strassenbahn (cable car) station and I watched as passengers loaded into one Strassenbahn and then I watched as it bagan to take off. But what the driver hadn't noticed was that a very old lady hadn't made it all the way into the Strassenbahn!! The driver had shut the doors on half of her body!! I shuddered as I watched and my heart sank for this poor old woman as she banged on the doors and finally the driver noticed and stopped and let her in all the way.
I was so disturbed by this incident even though I was only a spectator! I was relieved that nothing really bad had happened but I was still bothered that it had even happened at all! This lady was old. I bet she thought that she'd seen it all by the time she was her age. I bet she never thought that in her later years she would have half her body stuck in the doors of a moving Strassenbahn! But what bothered me the most was the realization that I had a lot of life to live and I didn't know what all the scares in my life would be or when they would happen. I would never be safe from surprises or scares or even tragedies possibly, even as an old woman. I could be that old woman one day and I would never know if or when it would happen. Geez.
Well, today I had one of those scares in life. :(
As we were skyping with Steve's family, Cole was sitting on Steve's lap playing with a piece of paper (!!) and we didn't realize that he had chewed on it and that little pieces of the paper were in his mouth. Until Steve's family saw through skype that Cole was making a funny face. (awful, I know) He was choking on the paper! I started freaking out but somehow managed to squeeze Cole's cheeks so he'd open his mouth and I stuck my pointing finger all the way down Cole's throat (I swear I touched his tonsils) and scooped the wet paper mess out. I had read in some book that that's what you're supposed to do when a baby's choking and I was surprised with how well I remembered what to do and how quickly I carried it out. Maybe there is something to be said for motherly instincts after all! And then after Cole was fine, I went in the other room and cried. My nerves! I could barely handle it. I thought of the story I told about above and I thought about all the other crazy things that would happen to my sweet baby boy as his life and my life go on. How many scares will there be?! And will they always only be "scares?"
I'm just thankful that it was just a scare today and nothing more than that.
Maybe I overreacted today but it was the first time I've ever had to save a baby from choking. I know that babies put everything in their mouths and I know it's common for them to gag/choke on things, but do you moms out there ever get used to it? Does it still phase you every time? I hate the thought of going through this on a regular basis!